Editor’s Note: Help is available if you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters. In the US: Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Globally: The International Association for Suicide Prevention and Befrienders Worldwide have contact information for crisis centers around the world.
CNN
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Billy Joel at one point wanted to “end it all,” according to the documentary “Billy Joel: And So It Goes.”
The new film, which premiered at Tribeca Festival in New York City this week, revisits the some of the singer’s struggles, including two suicide attempts following an affair with his bandmate’s wife, according to People.
The first part of the documentary told the story of the Joel being in the band Attila with his best friend Jon Small, whom Joel eventually went to live with in a home occupied by Small, his wife Elizabeth Weber and their son.
Weber reportedly said in the film that there was a “slow burn” between her and Joel.
Joel said he “felt very, very guilty” about their resulting affair, which ended in a fight and the band splitting after he confessed to Small that he was in love with Weber.
“They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker,” Joel told the filmmakers. “I was just in love with a woman and I got punched in the nose, which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset.”
Weber left and Joel said he spiraled into drinking, became homeless and was “depressed I think to the point of almost being psychotic,” he recalled.
“I figured, ‘That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.’ I was just in a lot of pain and it was sort of like why hang out, tomorrow is going to be just like today is and today sucks,” he said. “So, I just thought I’d end it all.”
His sister, Judy Molinari, was a medical assistant at the time and gave him sleeping pills, which Joel took all of and ended up in the hospital in a coma for days.
“I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was laying there white as a sheet,” she said in the film. “I thought that I’d killed him.”
He drank a bottle of cleaning fluid the second suicide attempt, Joel said, and ironically it was Small who took him to the hospital.
“Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life,” Joel said.
He sought help, which Joel said helped him channel his emotions into his music that has brought him success.
Years later, Joel and Weber reconnected and married from 1973 to 1982. She still has admiration for him and has been supportive as the superstar musician recently canceled tour dates to seek treatment for normal pressure hydrocephalus (NPH), a condition that affects the brain.
“He’s worked so hard all of his life,” she told E! News at the premiere. “I’ve never known anybody who worked harder than he did in all those years we were together and working together.”
“Billy Joel: And So It Goes” is set to air on HBO in July.
