Netflix’s Reed Hastings built a multi-billion-dollar company while sustaining a decadeslong marriage.
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The now-retired cofounder and former CEO spoke on Graham Bensinger’s “In Depth” podcast on Monday about his days at the helm of the streaming giant and its effect on his marriage.
Thirty-five years and two kids in, Hastings says he’s still not qualified to give marriage advice, but he shared some tips he picked up that helped his union last through a demanding career.
In a world where some tech leaders encourage going “founder mode” and working around the clock, Hastings’ advice makes room for priorities beyond work.
Hastings said he and his wife saw a marriage counselor in the 1990s who helped him see that he was a “systematic liar.” It changed the way he saw statements he’d previously made about the importance of family — oftentimes without the actions to back them up.
“I was essentially a hypocrite and not living with my values,” Hastings said.
From leaving his wife “disappointed” to decades of partnership, these are the lessons Hastings said he learned while working hard as a married man.
Always take the call
If your phone rings during a meeting, it’s best to pick up, Hastings said. Answer the phone when your spouse calls, no matter where you are or who you’re with.
“Interrupt whatever you’re doing — take the call,” Hastings said.
Being available and giving your partner a sense of importance in your life is “very valuable,” he said.
Set a budget
Hastings recommends budgeting your time. Establish how many nights or dinners you’ll miss each month and stick to that plan, he said.
“It gives your spouse a sense of control,” Hastings said.
It also reduces the need for “constant negotiation,” which could lead to you missing 28 nights in a month, compared to 10.
Make compromises at work
Counseling taught Hastings to be more up front about the importance of both work and family in his life. The revelation gave him clarity on when to compromise one for the other.
Hastings said he began to allow himself to “occasionally be disappointing at work” in favor of his family. It meant missing some events to be a present husband and father.
His marriage made it out on the other side of his long career, and Hastings said he gets to spend more time with his wife as a retiree.
“I feel very, very lucky,” Hastings said.
